This is just a general blog post just letting some loose thoughts loose while noting a few things. Wanted to note a few things before I go back to posting about Anime & games. I’ve been wanting to though been stressing about many things.
This blog posting is more of a divide between the previous and the next posting just to note a few things. It may not be ‘professional’, though shall note a few things on my mind which I may or may not regret looking back at later. I felt like I had to note them, though unsure if its proper to do so or not because I don’t have a proper role-model anymore to guide me. Who knows. I tend to skim my own blog posting looking for anything Anime and game related while blocking out any negative blog postings I’ve made by propping up the good ones.
So in order of the way I’m going to blog in this posting:
VRchat has been great to me, though I haven’t been able to play it properly thanks to what had happened back in May 2020 forcing me to be less active in VRchat and elsewhere. I’m still able to admire the worlds, hang with friends, though everything else it at a loss. I can’t hang with those constantly going to specific hang outs, nor am I being invited or such to them. One other person has invited me, though others not so much. I feel like I’m just not welcomed in two corners of VRchat. I just want to hop on, hang out and have fun because spontaneous VRchat is best VRchat because that is when people are at their best because they FEEL like playing. Maybe something is contradictory to what I’m noting here….
I don’t want to sound pouty or negative, though am sure I’m coming off that way. I’m a bit of the “weakest link” when it comes to exploring worlds, though I do make sure I end up visiting them eventually. I tend to delay a lot.
On another (more public note) I’m disappointed in how double-standard everything feels. I’ve tried connecting with VRchat ‘Regulars’ who vented on Twitter saying how nobody wants to hang out with them. I’ve noted this a few times already, and shall again because it frustrates me because I was willing to hang out with them then they slapped my hand away. They wanted people to hang with them and I offered. I also suggested they could potentially meet new people in horror worlds, but nope. Then I see them playing Phasmophobia game which is a horror game, something they don’t do well with. Everybody flip-flops, though found that insulting. If I was Nagzz he would have gladly done a horror world, but because I’m not I’ve been told what I’ve been told. Same with another person tied with him who no longer interacts with me. I’ve basically been ghosted by 2-3 people.
I will however mention one person’s name openly because I still feel I may have legit pissed them off. Lanfear. They may have forgotten about me by now though she was pissed off with me when I turned off music assuming it was local. Oculus Rift wasn’t playing fair with me, sabotaging everything I was doing at the time…. It felt like I was in scuba gear with everything stuttering like mad. I might as well have been drunk…… RIP Lanfear befriending. I just wanted to be friends with you though may have to call everything off because of 2020. You’re a busy person, as is everyone else.
It just pisses me off my first impression with all the VRchat ‘regulars’ between 2017 and 2019 is ‘wishy-washy’. I wanted to eventually naturally and properly befriend them though things didn’t end up that way because of Oculus sabotaging everything and people’s personal drama, including my own. I was able to legit befriend other people through hangouts and everything though couldn’t commit to pushing that because of work and technical issues. I also feel the impression I’ve left behind was always of venting about my headset or something.
Not saying it was all bad because outside of the hangouts I also had a blast. Both inside and outside VRchat is one of the best things to happen, it however prematurely blew up to the point things couldn’t grow organically. People weren’t allowed to befriend others properly, or as easily as they could have in 2017 before and during Nagzz21’s adventures before it corrupted itself from a population boom.
Two of my friends found this world wanting to share it with me. All the people who were there before the ‘big-boom’ are listed here before things became true hell. Nagzz, Oathmeal, Zentreya, and everybody you recognized. Its simple, though thankful I’m listed there. It feels like a Sword Art Online adventure where you’re remembered.
I didn’t use the Scathach avatar because it contains some negative emotions of how people used to comment about her breasts. I do respect Scathach’s serious F/GO character to the point I do not want her to be viewed sexually “abused” to the point people would poke the breasts or even comment about it. I prefer Renge’s more modest and flat-chested nature, even if she is showing more ‘skin’. She’s robotic, though can’t argue with people who are ignorant with Busou Shinki. Renge is just easier for me, someone I can respect for connecting me to Busou Shinki and fox spirits.
Like others, I genuinely miss the time I would see VRchat regulars roaming the world NATURALLY enjoying VRchat without the drama. Everything became so corrupted where people are now in specific hangouts not inviting others, hiding away, or just gone. Everything simply feels more ‘distant’. I’ll still play VRchat, though things won’t be as they were. Everything simply keeps becoming more and more distant as time moves on.
When it comes to my friends in VRchat:
We managed to have a few fights though we thankfully patch it out. We apologize and clarify why we did what we did and move on. I’m thankful. We recently had a mishap because of how exhausted we were and how the Frank world didn’t allow me to take back control of my own Frank…. I threw a bit of a fit and later patched up the situation. I’m glad we’re able to be mature like this in VRchat.
Whenever I hangout with my friends we usually tend to have fun. One of my friend tends to get all nitty-gritty into finding out all the ‘secrets’ while even using mods. I tend to log worlds which are interesting while my other friend would just find the secrets, and another just chilling as they finally have their VR headset.
I genuinely wish I had a Valve Index from the start because I could have been in a better position with the Valve Index than when I was venting about my Oculus Rift headset. I’m still thankful for various experiences with both headsets, and am thankful for the friends I have made. Some may be purposely silent, others may be lurking, and others are busy with their life. We had our fun and we left our mark in VRchat. I’m happy for that. I’ve taken images of that to make note of that.
As a rough transition from my previous VRC experiences into Nagzz21 I want to note this before heading into Nagzz himself. I’m thankful for when Nagzz21’s crew was helpful and etc, though upset when they threw people under the bus. Nagzz is Nagzz and these people are themselves, though wish I was able to at least “be friends” in certain ways without Oculus sabotaging my experience. I also wanted to be remembered in VRC, something I was and am happy about. I genuienly had fun experiences. The ‘New Old Hub’ World my friends showed me has my name, the above photoshoot event has me in a tree, even though I wasn’t supposed to be up there. I was lagging so badly. Can’t tell if someone was sabotaging me, though what happened, happened. It is what it is……
Nagzz21 – End Of An VRChat Era:
After the longest time I was able to take a proper photo of myself with Nagzz21. Not the best, though not the worst either. I’m thankful he took time to meet with me, to talk with me, and appreciated the Twitch messages I sent him and tweets. I sadly have to note the bad as well because I suspect either the Oculus Rift or someone in VRC sabotaged me exactly when I was talking with Nagzz21. Not before, not after….. My FPS tanked HARD when I was talking to Nagzz21 with major delays. I was told about the delays after… The chatting was nice, if awkward thanks to the delay. I assumed he was going to take the picture so it was highly awkward though eventually took one myself. Somehow managed with all the lag I had.
I wanted to hang out with Nagzz21 again and the crew, and I had a few times before I had to move. I had my nose booped and etc. It however seems Nagzz21’s VRC era is done with. Note completely, just…..Its just…. Time flies and erases the past.
If possible I would still like one last proper hangout with Nagzz21 and the crew, though not artificial. That is too much to ask so I can’t expect it. I guess we’re done to the point I have to help myself prop myself back up to where I’m able to stand firm to then help others again. I nearly became homeless and need a new place thanks to how brutal 2020 is. If I’m able to I’ll jump onto Chillout VR to experience new things, though time shall tell what’s what. I have to follow the flow.
Similar to how Danny Choo unfollowed me, as had Nagzz21. Danny Choo ws a different reason so I won’t go into detail, though feel he lost his way. I however do thank Danny Choo for getting me into anime figures and Nagzz21 into VRchat & VR. Not sure when and how he unfollwoed, though shall assume Nagzz21 unfollowed because he wants to move purely to Youtube doing non-VRC things. He has to impress Melody and other collaborators looking professional so people such as myself and others unable to provide content are simply booted.
Either that, or I’ve lost to my demons where I vented to much about politics wanting no part of it so he grew tired of it. I kept posting about Azur Lane and how Americans are sabotaging Canadian politics be destroying various monuments in Canada while Canadians themselves tend to be more peaceful. He didn’t want to see that, and I don’t blame him if its this. People jumping in front of trains to make other people homeless while sabotaging their own economy pretending they’re doing good things while people are struggling to pay their food and various other bills……Its just something you don’t want to see on your feed. And this is why I want to avoid politics, though people & Twitter want to be demonic spamming about it 24/7.
Shame to see Nagzz21 go, though was constantly fearful he would just naturally do that because of how popular he is. I’m a nobody who is simply struggling while he’s a Youtuber having to please his fans, and I respect that. It hurt me for that one night, though respect why he had to do what he had to do. There are also times where I wonder if Nagzz21 simply tolerated me or was annoyed because his voice would dip at times. I may be over-thinking things with how high my anxiety and stress tends to go. I over analyze things.
Its been fun Nagzz and the VRC community. I’m still here willing to hang out and do whatever. I had my fun, I recorded my fun in images & Youtube videos so I don’t consider it a complete loss. I just wish I was allowed to do more and to hang out with Nagzz21.
This isn’t me going to stop watching Nagzz21, just going to make note, salute, and watch when able. I’ll still watch his content, and I hope I can hang with him in VRC sometimes again. Its just the era has changed to fulfil new purposes in life.
RIP Nagzz21 VRC – 2017 to 2020.
(Not dead, just moving on with time.)
You’ve genuinely inspired others and myself, though I have chains on me holding me back. I wish I could do a lot more than what I’m currently allowed to do.
I don’t really play Girls Frontline properly, though have to note a foxy get, someone I’ve been trying to obtain for ages.
One final thing to note:
I’m genuinely disappointed with Twitter. I wish Twitter was fun and enjoyable to use again (as it was in 2006-ish) when I could simply enjoy anime and travel related Tweet. Twitter tends to shadowban people for thinking the wrong way (censorship of freedom of speech), constantly forcing Anti-Trump nonsense on trending when you used to see far more happier things trending years previous. Tumblr folks invaded Twitter ruining everything about it. You get canceled for posting Anime the “wrong way” (Nessa Pixiv art). I do post, though seeing myself bleeding followers to where Twitter just isn’t fun.
I’m constantly afraid of Tweeting because I’m losing followers because I do see it happening. I post about chocolate I would lose a follower. Spice and Wolf? VR? Azur Lane? Ramen? Anything, and I lose followers. I know I shouldn’t, and I hadn’t for a few months. Its gotten so bad I’m getting horrible ‘Facebook-Syndrome’ from Twitter. I can understand why Pewdiepie deleted his Twitter and why others are. Cancel culture is everywhere and I’ve even seen Dollfie Dream cancel people on Twitter. You’re just not allowed to have fun, more specifically when American politics enters the mix.
You get called ‘Transphobic’ for drinking water, a ‘racist’ for sleeping, and a ‘Nazi’ for going to work. Twitter has gotten so bad…….. Its gotten so bad people don’t even know what those three words mean. RIP Twitter. You used to be awesome……. I’ve been constantly told to ignore things, you just can’t. I’ve tried, and it worked for awhile. You just can’t because it comes knocking on your door also. Your “friends” or ‘hobby friends’ start preaching how they’ll unfollow if you vote for Trump & etc. When I was at a Doll meet-up there were times where politics intervened thanks to Canadian elections at that point in time souring the whole thing. I’m no saint, though politics legitimately ruins everything, especially American politics.
Twitter: “No Fun allowed!”
Sansotei Ramen & Takeout:
As noted, I wanted to make note of food I ordered because I FINALLY tried Ramen, and its good. It may upset my stomach a bit, though love it. Its highly pricy, though love it when you order correctly. I’m still new to this, though loving the ramen side of things.
I’m still in experimenting mode so I’m trying this whole Ubereats thing. I’m happy with how convenient it is, though disappointed by the portions I’m getting. Sushi Kan actually pissed me off with how pricy sushi is and how small Won Ton is. it makes sense financially with the sushi & Won-Ton for how they’re priced, though still disappointed. I would have to order 4 Won-Ton soups to get a right portion, or I would have to go a single order spamming the sushi order up to $20 CAD, or so.
And below, I recently tried out ‘Edo Japan’ paying a good amount for Alaska Sushi Roll and Shrimp Udon. Good stuff. I over payed by a big amount, though found the food enjoyable.
Aloe Mano – Hololive:
I’m going to clearly note that I have been HEAVILY watching Hololive to the point I’m seeing their streams and clips. They’re easy to watch and easy to get to. Their clips are everywhere and they’re not political, thus why we love them. They don’t preach about fake BLM takes, nor do they guilt trip you. They provide the content and you have fun, as I had with Nagzz21 and previous other content creators. They’re simply there to entertain and that is why we love them; Why I love them.
Its however a shame Antis had to destroy Aloe Mano’s career even before it fully started. She still does sing, and it does get shared on Youtube. In respect a friend and I have been making a skin and statue in remembrance to Hololive. I’m also amazed by how tightly nit the Hololive crew are by supporting one another. They visit one another’s home and they mentally support one another, though hope it isn’t all a fascade. I love Hololive for how genuine and entertaining they come off as, thus why I support them. I just wish we had more Aloe Mano.
I still plan to decorate in front of Aloe Mano while making minor adjustments as time goes on. Trying to complete both her & Shinki Renge’s statue in time for their October 28th anniversary. Aloe Mano’s Birthday is noted to be October 28th and same with when Renge’s figure was released.
I had a real blast playing this game solo and with friends. Its genuinely scary because it works on suspense, though there have been people pretending they could handle it by rushing things. I’ve had a blast playing with my friends going from one place to another, even securing ghost rooms. I am however a chicken so I tend to order people around in the van while other times I had to go in the house to actually do things and it was genuinely rewarding. I have my awesome moments of when a ghost would turn on a lamp then came towards me. Every time I became genuinely scared those were awesome moments.
I would 100% play this game, and I wanted to. Because of my mental stability I had to forcefully put it on pause as to not lose my sanity because of how addicting it is. It gets a nice 9/10 from me…… It needs a hell of a lot of new content.
I do apologize if my blog posting was too negative or pouty, I felt I had to post it, thus sharing it. I’m struggling to keep my demons at bay, though am thankful I can play Azur Lane and Minecraft mainly, with a sprinkle of VRC on the side. I will get back to posting positive postings dealing with more VRC and Azur Lane related goodies. I want to share a belated Azur Lane mobile & Crosswave achievement certain people have seen, though wanting to note it on my blog. See you then o7.