Happy New Year! I’m glad I’m still able to partake in these festivities since 2017. It’s become a tradition to celebrate these New Years in VRChat that I’ve been doing so since then, especially with friends since 2018. Tried to rally as many of my friends to hop on as possible, though not everything goes as planned. Everything is still at the whim of my friends and life itself. Running on a 6 hour sleep myself things were going to be fairly interesting in perspective, mood, and interaction.
I tried to make the most of this hangout trying to bring out the very best of it. I believe I mostly succeeded in a Japanese A Ranking before an S Rank. If you’ve played KanColle or Azur Lane you’d know what I’m going for. Or an 8/10. Very positive and highly memorable. I’m happy. A few missed opportunities, that however happens in everything.
Do note that I may be posting things which may appear negative, keep in mind I’m trying to note them neutrally while aiming for a fairly positive theme to this hangout. I was genuinely having fun, grateful I could hang out with friends and other folks while trying to make sure everything was staying on track. I was trying to have fun and that is what I aimed for. Even for others struggling with social issues, technical difficulties, among other weirdness.
Seeing how a few people were hung up with life and other obligations we decided to venture as a trio to a chess world. A random world VRChat suggested to us at random, yet a nice fun one. No lag, just chess fun.
After I lost in the end, messed around a bit, even showing a few videos Hawk’s friends appeared. This is where the real fun began as I went along with Hawk’s social group.
As the below image shall show, even I’m like this in social gathering. I have severe social anxiety and depression thanks to how people treated me from Kindergarten all the way up into highschool and into my workplace. I was always this piece of crap to people while also bullied for my admiration of the Titanic, Gundam Wing, being myself, and etc. People were both jealous and envious of me, as well as overly crude in that ‘welfare’ manner. People were always compensating for things they lacked via bullying me. The amount of scars I have to mend is numerous. I want to help shield Maiya from as many of those as possible.
I can see why Maiya is overly shy, something they have to gradually overcome such as I have, and still currently am trying to overcome. VRChat has certainly helped mend a great portion of my fears in simply trusting certain folks. Granted, VRChat is also a double edged sword because it can’t cure, nor does it shield you from the same effects as in the real world or other peoples’ negative traits. VRChat can simply help in assistance in becoming more social. People in my workplace also were surprised as to how vocal I was becoming not knowing VRChat and the friends I met were all to thank for this.
I’m genuinely thankful for the friends I have met along the way, for the people still hanging out with myself (and Maiya), among others even if I tend to slip, fall, and falter constantly. I’m only human, as are they.
Was noted if we should world hope and we all agreed. It was gradually coming up to the New Year festivities causing me to panic slightly about missing the ball drop.
As someone who has crippling social anxiety myself I find the best way to befriend people is to simply see pure neutral kindness. That, and something we can all relate to one another. Trust has to be formed on top of kindness, and being able to relate to something. I, myself, go for people who are “down to earth” yet overly accepting. I avoid people who are crude, meme a lot, and simply follow the pack. I can befriend anyone just as long as they’re true to themselves, something I believe Maiya has to learn in life. I know what Maiya is suffering from, now how to cure that takes time. A few visits over the few days, weeks, or months should do it. Hopefully. Though, I do have to wonder if I screwed anything up causing Maiya to panic in fear to then hide.
I’ve still done the “being silent” (Mute) part in Nagzz21’s Patreon hangouts because everybody has their own social groups. I’ve managed to converse with people when the conditions were right, I was still however left alone as if I didn’t matter. It’s a 50/50 thing. Good memories come with the bad and vice-versa. Almost a similar case here also. People always need a familiar ground to converse with. Common memories, moments, and topics; Shared interests.
Again, VRChat helps mend these issues, they however don’t cure them. VRChat allows you to be who you want to be while experimenting with your personality.
(I’ve recently picked up this “wooooo” thing. Even I don’t know why I say it a lot. Must be from Zentraya’s clips, a Vtuber, or something. As much as I try to be individualistic I’m still vulnerable to external influences.)
The Final 30 Minutes:
The final 30 minutes until New Year! Nice! Having spotted out friend Hunt online we decided to world hop to see him, among other cool buddies. Wanted to really meet our friends like the past few years. The 2021 scuffed everything up with server outtages, yet at least I managed to have my greetings with things looking fairly positive for this year. Everything was shaping up to be a normal New Year this time around.
This part was fine for a while until I started to gradually lag more and more. It was a progressive thing to the point the game stalls out, lags out, freezes to the point I have to force exit to come back in.
I wasn’t able to quite capture the person going around asking for headpats. I was lagging horribly I couldn’t react, let alone grab my camera to snap images. They came around with another person so I eventually gave them headpats (when I finally was given control in my black orb) to then headpat them hearing them cheer how Christmas came early. From what they were jokingly noting It went from how I haven’t given them anything to how I gave them headpats being a Christmas miracle. Amusing.
Now, if I was able to react I’d also snap an image headpatting them in return. I was guessing as to what the situation was. RIP that image.
The end of 2021. Happy New Year!
Happy New Year! (2022):
Happy New Year!
Once the rush towards the main area of Time Square happened that was when I was purely out of luck. I lagged up, locked up, and was really unable to do anything as it was noted I was walking in slow motion. It was even worse than slow motion walking. I was stuck in this black orb in SteamVR. Hawk’s friend Ivan noted how I was gesturing in slow motion trying to move from one area to the next. I feel a bit humiliated because other people were able to reach that area perfectly fine. Me? Screw me, I guess. Screw my 2020+ situation. Screw me for at least being able to play on VRChat, for having internet connection, being able to hang out with my friends, and etc. I want 2022 memories? Screw that. Just some ‘dark’ humour, even if it isn’t funny.
I wasn’t really angry. Frustrated? Yes. Angry? No. I was constantly in damage control mode trying to get images while I could. I was trying to take as many shots as the game could register while freezing up. Constantly seeking out positives. Two people couldn’t make one, one for being with family, another for working, and the third because of work. I guess things could be worse and it is all about perspective.
Again, I’m not angry. I’m simply frustrated I could not repeat my previous years of properly greeting Hunt, Blue, among others here while attempting to take group shots. I’m angry as a photographer failing to capture images. Maybe I am angry and I’m just not honest with myself trying to downplay this as to not be a negative article. Trying to be positive.
I was always constantly seeking for positives, even as a photographer having done tons of figure photography for Figma and Busou Shinki figures back in the day.
Eventually, I loaded back up and into Hawk’s ‘Cozy Rooftop’ world to where we talked a bit, debriefed one another slightly, and then chilled out again. I ran downstairs to poke VRChat friends for redeeming the night to which one eventually happened later that night. Not fully, though something is better than nothing. ‘Moon’ came looking for me to which we poked each other, pillow fought, and put her to sleep. ZzzzZzzzz~
Played a few rounds. With some confusion around we eventually had certain things sorted and mended after figuring out what that confusion was. Hunt joined us while others couldn’t. Hunt redeemed a certain element to my New Year meet-up to which I hope no hard feelings of any sort.
“It’s not a Twitch stream without some technical difficulties” – Maiya
Which also goes for any game, game hangout, and anything.
Going back to memory lane with where it all began for those loosely affiliated with the ‘Seekers of the lamp’. Not our true name, just a joke name. This world is where we met one another back in 2018 on the first night of my 1 week stress leave from work while also testing out my Oculus Rift at the time. It was being a piece of crap. I love this respectful nod. I genuinely do.
I was panicking so much once we came back to this tree house world. We joined this world without going back to the Time Square for the next time zone to celebrate their New Year causing me to try one more time. I ventured there solo to try to fill in any voids. I saw someone I wanted to hang out with, though because of the lag and the size of the gathering I lagged out stumbling across places as if I was intoxicated, something I wasn’t. The intoxication part was the previous New Year celebration where my head kept falling, I kept stumbling, etc. This year I’m dry.
In the end I failed my objective. Tried to return to my friends to end up seeing VRChat crash when rejoining the treehouse world. Everything is still positive so my mindset is still positive. I’m happy with the flow of things.
The Concluding Tree House Hangout:
Somewhat frustrated I settled with simply hanging out with my trusted friend Hawk. Even Ivan, and the other two friends of his. If certain other friends refused to meet me then I guess that’s that and I have to let it go.
“Cut my loses to make the most of what is in front of me”.
Was nice hearing what Hawk had to say, how Ivan joked, what Nighthawk had to say at times. It was as chill as you could get.
Because I brought it up while being in a Gura avatar playing the ‘Beep Beep I’m a Sheep’:
I would have loved to stay longer, just not this year. It’s not pre-2020 conditions. Everything is at its possibly best condition for me being “homeless”, yet not quite. I’m in between, I managed to be on VRChat, have fun, make memories, hangout with my friends so I’m genuinely grateful here. I’m genuinely grateful for those who genuinely came to try their best for the hangout, to celebrate, and to make the most of the year. My frustration with certain things simply fueled my motivation to obtain more images in the 2022 timeslot to have them presented here for others to see almost out of context. To those that have answered my call for assistance gained more praise for me. I’m frustrated (as a photographer) for not being able to take pictures with certain people, nor being able to talk to certain people from Midnight Haven group, everything however was done in its best context and I had fun with this hangout. Thanks for the memories! 🙂
I now need to tie up any loose ends in the following days. It may have not made it in this blog posting, it shall make it in any future blog posting. This New Year transition is rated as an 8/10, even if others may view it as a 5/10, or have probably misread my intentions. The 5/10 goes to 2021 with the server flopping.
Bonus Friend Images:
Just some images from my friend’s perspective, at least from Hawk’s POV.
Happy New Year, and hope to seeing 2022 being a better year! Nice to see I still have people I can still hang out with in VRChat. 🙂