On a somewhat more ‘random’ and supernatural note I thought I would finally make a blog posting dealing something ‘plaguing’ my past. Belated from when I wanted to share it, though early for 2021’s October Halloween dealing with the ‘paranormal’, or the supernatural. My experiences may have been legit, though they could have also been me imagining things. Very lucid dreams, or stress. I may be overly sensitive, or unknowingly mistaking things for something else. I however want to document these happenings in some way, or another just to officially get them out there. Basically to finally make it ‘water under the bridge’, as they say. Something to look back at while able to focus on other things also. These happenings really effected me to the point I watch certain Youtube videos out of weird curiousity, experimenting with apps in a light manner (bottom of blog post) just to see the possibilities for things. For science.
As a kid I may have been overly sensitive to the paranormal to the point I (in my older state) feel I was being toyed with while also feeling the residual effects of the past spooking me kept up with me to this current point. Things like these don’t leave you easily, they stay with you. The shadow figures, the brutally insane nightmares, among other weirdness. The small stuff. I may have been played a prank on in the low-key manner by spirits, or simply more ‘sensitive’ to it in the way I knew it was there, though couldn’t really place my finger on it. Everything was kept vague, or just vague enough to possibly make me look like a “chicken shit”, something my parents would always call me. One of those things that stay out of my reach unable to really confirm it. Just in the boundaries of being safe, yet also crossing over that danger line. Constantly having nightmares, night terrors, and even constantly afraid of the dark because of the nonsense, though that may also be because of the stress Ottawa has put onto me as a kid, and into my teen years. Because of my childhood I’m still somewhat afraid of the dark, more so when alone. As noted by others, even other folks are scared, though in varying levels they would much rather hang with people while not separating as the Scooby-do gang does. Other people tend to just fake it by wearing a mask pretending they’re brave, boasting how “brave” and “unafraid” they are. Put them in my situation they would shit bricks. Especially at night. To note, I watch ‘Caspersight‘ on Youtube who covers paranormal while also beginning to cover it. Same with ‘Exploring with Josh‘, among others. The supernatural scares me, though these Youtubers make it accessible on a safer level.
Mine isn’t the classic chairs moving, just stuff in a more low-key manner. It’s tame, but still spooky craziness. It’s not like in the movies, it’s move drawn out and over time, though with one happening out in the open.
Shadow Figure In Hallway:
As a kid I used to live in this area for a few years before moving further down the street. Some time around 1998 timeframe ‘we’ moved further down the street after all these spookiness and etc. Used to live in a place in Carlton Place before moving to this area. This happening was also sometimes during the winter period, sometimes during or maybe even after Christmas because I can recall the Christmas vibes and the Christmas tree. I can recall the train set under the tree, or desiring one. It was a night when I went to sleep, waking up sometimes during the night to head down the hallway to ask my mother about something. Something about “going to sleep”, or water, or a night chat. Who knows now. While heading out the doorway I saw this black opaque shadow figure just standing there, standing in the hallway in the middle in an opposing manner. It may have been friendly, it may have been hostile. It however stood there, maybe slightly moving. It may have been as shocked as I was. It appeared as if it was trying to head outside the back door, limbs maybe slightly moving. It just stood there, I stared at it for a good minute (or what felt like a minute) before running back to my room, to bed in fear. I ran back to my bed, covered myself under the blanket, and may have either passed out in fear or went back to confirm the situation. If I went back into the hallway I would have confirmed it was no longer there.
(Below image: Top Blue is my main route, the bottom blue was supposed to be my casual route to the Livingroom area.)
I can not confirm, nor deny if this is a legit experience, though it left an impact on me. One of the strongest impacts which keeps me up at night fearing the dark twice as much. I know what I witnessed, though can’t confirm it if its tied with reality or a very vivid (lucid) dream to near accuracy. What I mean by this is if it was a legit experience, or an insanely surreal dream being projected to me in a very clear manner. Everything was experienced in a very “awake” moment. I have only seen that shadow figure once, and only that one time. If it was real I saw it as a solid black mass (maybe slightly transparent) aiming towards my parent’s room, my room, or out the back door to the backyard. It may have been one of those migratory wandering spirits, or may have been a local spirit having a rare appearances coincidentally timed with me coming out of my bed that night. I never felt harmed, though I never felt the place to be “normal” either. Always had that weird energy to it. Gloomy, possibly from the trees nearby also. It felt eerie every moment I was there. Even when awake it felt like a ‘nightmare’, though in a calm-before-the-storm manner.
I can not even confirm, nor deny if I’ve even conversed with my mother later, or if I passed out the rest of the night in fear. I was in such a shock my memory before and after are painfully hazy. I’ve always had bad vibes with the place with how ‘ancient’ everything was. The place used to be owned by penny pinching old Czech couple who would even snoop around. Could have also been one of them I bumped into for all I know. They probably passed on by now, though could have been them being snoopy wanting to know all about us. It’s because of them we moved further down the street.
Ever since I came across Youtubers I’ve considered going back with phone apps called ‘Ghosttube‘ or even ‘Spirit Talker‘. I would never use a board, or any other cursed items. Only those that I can trust are ‘neutral’ in experience, those that I can trust would do no harm. Seeing Youtubers being fine I’ve picked up on the former, considering the latter on the phone app idea. Would be interesting confirming if what I experienced was genuine or not.
Regina Street – Night Terrors/Nightmares | N64 Scream-Glitching At me | Crawling Sensation on Bed:
I can’t confirm if it was my mental health, or if the street itself is simply cursed. Maybe a mix of both. The buildings on that street are both new and old at the very same time with a very dated sense about them. It’s not like with European architecture which still comes off as appealing when buildings from the 50’s to 70’s appear crude, rustic, and low-wage. Even though this house was better, it still was a duplex with a very moody vibe to it all. Very strange things happened to me, especially in the low-key manner. I have to share an image of the floor plan to give a loose perspective of what I feared, and where; What happened, where. May not be relevant, though should help paint “some” picture.
Image below: Floor-plan, as drawn by my kid-self:. –
1) Top left: Living room. | Middle: Stairway | Right: My room.
2) Bottom left: Kitchen | Spare Room | Parent’s room.
Or below, my attempt at the 2020 version of my memory.
Not going to share the street-view as it’s irrelevant, though the floor plan may be relevant in some shape, or manner as everything dealt with mood, dreams, and things aimed at me.
N64 – Pokemon Stadium Screech-Yelling:
After a stressful time at the nearby school (can probably guess which one on the street I lived on) I would come home to boot up my N64 to play Pokemon Stadium. I would also use my N64’s controller adapter to play my Pokemon Gameboy version in the living room to which point it decided to give me the loudest, scariest, and blood curling ‘Missing No’ screech I have ever heard. Hasn’t happened before, hasn’t happened since then. Only just that ONE time my Pokemon Stadium (forgot which one) gave me the loudest glitched noise I have ever heard since then. I hid in fear at the couch, even in the living room to eventually come back to try again. In my kid’s version of the floor plan I would have been facing the stairway having run into the kitchen. The spiky thing you see would have been a palm tree plant, sadly now gone ever since father passed away in 2020.
I can’t confirm/deny if it was paranormal, it however felt like it. Everything tends to play out low-key to the point you pass over it assuming it was a normal occurrence. Maybe it was, or maybe it genuinely was haunted.
(As noted elsewhere, I was constantly being bullied while school felt stressful and horrible to me. I used games as an escapism, it simply escalated as games became more advanced on PC, eventually becoming a NEET during my highschool years. The amount of bullying by both teachers and students was unreal.)
Night Terrors | Horrific Dreams:
There was something about this place that would constantly give me nightmares, night terrors, or even straight up repeating horror dreams. It may have been the stress as a kid, the chemistry of how a kid’s body works, or even the stress of school with how I was constantly bullied by both students and teachers alike. I preferred gaming over anything else to hide, something which may have been the cause of constantly getting scared awake by entities in my room’s closet, or my parent’s room closet, or even things chasing me forcing me to hide behind my dad’s back in the kitchen. My parent’s room was dark, moody to the point even that would constantly haunt me. Windows covered, dark room…. Even if I simply went nearby, or took a glance I would be brutally haunted awake in my dream while gasping heavily for air, hyper-ventilating, and scared awake. I would feel the shock
These dreams always revolved around the closet. Something may have actually been in the closet connecting with me in my dreams. As noted, it got so bad with how scared I have gotten (and if I had the chance) I would always run to my dad. I would always run to my dad in the kitchen to hide behind his back as he sat in the chair from my room, the parent’s room, or whatever the scene was playing.
At one point the entity was so frustrated over me (I don’t know why) they gave up telling me they would leave me alone. They walked off finally giving me the peace I needed in my dream. Never was haunted by them again *knock on wood*. These dreams were even the hide-and-seek type where you were given a time-limit of hiding to where I would hide behind things in a store, still being found. No matter where I ran to, where I hid, “it” always found me. I would always be hauntingly shocked awake.
I’ve also had occasional dreams of where things wanted to constantly get in to the point I would always have to rush to the door to lock it, or try. Either the stairway door or the balcony door leading to the backyard. Always something wanting to break in, haunt me, spook me, and shake me awake in a tense manner. Sometimes I would be successful in holding “them” off, other times not so much.
Any horrific dreams were then rare, now taking place in Modra, Slovakia ever since my grandparents passed away. Both before and after these night terrors. Always revolving around closets, and dark spots. If something wasn’t lit then I would be spooked awake. I always had to hide behind my dad’s back, or find a very tall hiding spot to climb up to. It was all up to the dream’s RNG that night.
There was even that one vivid (almost lucid) dream I had of meeting someone in a room, almost like a nearby high school I went to. They were surprised, then livid I appeared, assumingly just as quickly booting me out into a normal dream realm. They wanted nothing to do with me. Possible supernatural, possible normal dream. Who knows. Still noting it. Also times I would pick up a phone in dreams to hear voices, eventually ending. One time even talking into it with the other side getting bored of me narrating what I was doing in a dream. Random.
Crawling Sensation In Bed:
The third, and final bit from this place would be the occasional feeling of a cat/dog crawling on my bed upwards on my legs. I would have a blanket, though no animal was in sight. It was freaky. It happened every now and again, just not every night. It became frequent enough to the point I would become freaked out trying to debunk it.
What it my leg muscles spazzing out? Was it something else? Was it an entity attached to me, the same one in my dream to which it told me it’ll “peace out”. It would leave me alone. Closets would always be the worst nightmare spawner for me, same with dark places. If I can’t turn on a light, I’m screwed.
The creepy-crawly bed thing is something I even mentioned a high-school girl on a school bus, something which she hated me for. My dad used to be a bus driver doing charters to which he noted how he obtained a complaint about me conversing with the students. I wasn’t allowed to talk to the “high-class” highschool students, especially girls.
Ottawa is genuinely a city of “The city that fun forgot”, even to the point I can’t even mention my night terrors (as a kid), nor talk to anybody. Everybody always has to be moody, grumpy, or violent as shit. I’m aware it’s a bit of a ramble, though one connects with another allowing me to mention it while I have the chance to. As great as Ottawa is nature wise, people wise (and maybe spiritually), it’s horrible. Granted, I haven’t really been physically harmed though I have seen my fair share of craziness on both sides of the fence.
- Merivale Spooks:
As a kid I had a few strange things happen to me which may pass off as ‘night terrors’, or overly strange dreams. I have to note them, though can’t conclude if they’re ‘paranormal’. I’ll note them because they had paranormal elements to them. Always at night. I may have simply been an overly stressed kid constantly getting bullied because Ottawa is morally and mentally brain-drained. They always want to do the “right thing”, constantly always doing it in the wrong way to the point I had to feel the wrath, even as a kid. Toys stolen, bullied, and just treated as an outcast no matter where I went. Kid, teen, adult…. I digress.
The two things to note would be:
- Out of body experience: As a kid I may have had a legit, or dream like sensation of being out of body in the living room looking down at my childish self. It freaked me out, though can’t remember the context. There may or may not have been an entity near me as this happened.
- Possible Sleep paralysis: I may have had this just once, or it may have legit been a haunting causing me to see sparkling rainbow colours on the bottom of my eye-lid (not able to move my eyelids, or anything). I was frozen in place, though lookin upwards. Things felt ominious, though never really had sleep paralysis, or anything I can recall. This feels abnormal, even low-key spooky.
I had a stressful kid life, even if others may have oddly seen me as being overly spoiled and pampered. Even so, everything may have just been worn as a mask to balance one side and the other. You know, yin and yang. Crazy stuff like these spook me while the city likes to bully me so I hide in games, anime, and various other normalized (non-2017) appealing hobbies.
Mud Lake – Drumming:
Not claiming this to be 100% paranormal, just that it was “odd” for when it happened. While walking through Mud Lake one day I randomly heard something weird I hadn’t heard previously, having frequently visited this area as a kid on foot, on bicycle, and etc. Even getting yelled at by overly-generic old folks for cycling through Mud Lake. You’re just not allowed to have fun, probably why I switched to video games later, always being punished for something. I digress.
I randomly heard bongo drums (or something similar to a bongo drum) banging loudly, and for a fair while as I stayed silent, and in place. I was listening to it, and listening. As soon as I made a sound the drumming suddenly stopped. Never started up again. Disappointed, I left.
Granted, it may have been someone practicing in their backyard, Mud Lake itself, or it may have indeed been paranormal. Hard to say. Without evidence, and only my memory to go with, it’s left as a weird experience. Mud Lake IS surrounded by houses so it may have been that.
Modra/Slovakia – Horrific Night Terrors:
Modra, Slovakia is genuinely a lovely place, even if it may appear run-down and ‘poor’. Exteriors are old while the interiors are modern, lavish, full of history and style. Even back in 2003 everything had that modern feel to it, or at least on a traditional historic Slovak style which also was nice. It’s because of this history, especially on my side, I tend to get spooked by my own family tree in Modra, at least in dream ‘nightmare’ form. No high-key hauntings, just simple mind games and night terrors. You can feel when something feels like it’s going to mess with you, or potentially feel that “creepy” energy. Having had my grandparents pass away slowly one at a time left its mark causing the dreams to take a twisted supernatural turn of spooks and hauntings. It’s always in the ‘guest room’, as I’ll note below.
In the above image (#8- Living Room), is actually a ‘guest room’ type room. That room had this weird energy of constantly (and violently) haunting me awake. Rare, though there are those cases where everything chases you, “murdering” you. It’s far more graphic in memory than in words as everything is out to get you, though hard to word.
The second sorts of dreams, as I had with living on Regina Street, would have been closing the front door. Things would always haunt me to the point I would have to rush to the door to lock it, barricade it, and just hope for the best. Even the people with me in my dream would struggle to keep the door closed. Ironically, the scariest place never haunted me in my dreams, the gas-powered washroom I feared oh-so-much. Genuinely FUCK those gas powered showers. Thankfully I only passed them in dreams, never really spooked by them.
I mentioned Regina Street and Modra, not Carlton Place because it’s mostly faded from my memory. Only the stairway leading up would scare me, that passes off as a normal nightmare. Night terrors and nightmares are different, hence why I’m not mentioning my nightmares in 2021. Night terrors are terrifying as fuck as you get chased places, normal nightmares you can shake off.
Thankfully, all these night terrors and horrific dreams have calmed down into watered down nightmares allowing me to wake up naturally. Similar to racing games with shortcuts in the tracks I’m able to by-pass horror scenes in dreams by taking another route, even similar to visual novels on the Anime side. Sometimes I get the same horror dream able to take another calmer route, or wake up sooner than later.
I’ve even stayed up till 6 am in the morning at times for how spooked I get, something which even caused me to get yelled at by parents and viewed as “weird” by other folks to the point I usually keep things to myself. I’m even heavily afraid of basements and the night time for the reasons noted above because of how fucked up everything is. I always need to be with someone if I’m to venture into basements, dark areas, or where I simply feel “unsafe” or uneasy. Thankfully having pets like cats and dogs to keep you company helps tame this fear a lot. It doesn’t fill the void, it however blankets the issue long enough to get a good night sleep. As noted by my experiences, and Youtubers, every hauntings tends to be low-key, something a rogue or assassin would do over time. It’s not like in the movies with everything being showy, spooky, and out in the open. Everything is low-key. Basically as I said, assassin-like, sniper-patience, or even rogue. It’s over time, and slow… Drawn out. Everything requires energy to spook.
I know people may view me in a poor light when I note how I’m a night owl staying up late till 6 am, sleeping late in the day, all because of how spooked I became. Fearing the supernatural while also dabbling in some of it in a somewhat hypocritical manner. It’s weird. My mother influenced me at a later date (as a teen) with all these ghost shows on TV, especially with Tom Green at the Ottawa’s Nature museum noting a spirit Tom saw admired strong-willed individuals who never suicided.
The fear became worse when my mother passed away in my previous place, and much worse once my dad passed away after. When my mother passed away I feared going in her room. Worse when my dad passed because two rooms now became inaccessible to me at night. Felt empty, eerie. And on cue, 3 am caused things to go bump in the night with the window open when they usually didn’t. Everything became far too spooky. Playing VR on my own was almost impossible….. That alone may possibly not be supernatural, though everything about it was creepy. When my parents were alive they knew I was a “chicken shit”, even calling me as such, so that probably helps not being scared by them. Also, family blood doesn’t scare one another, well unintentionally. Didn’t help my mother was into supernatural stuff, possibly even influencing me from teenage onward. I even probably even ruined my own luck by playing with fortune cards my mother obtained. You simply do not fuck around with the supernatural. It’s all messed up. My last spook was the apartment building with things going creek and crack, the ’emptiness’ of not having my parents and ‘Sparky‘ the dog. Everything feels ‘safer’ and ‘calmer’ now, though they may be an illusion for all I know for these 2 years now.
The biggest highlight usually tends to be the shadow person (whether it be real or a super-vivid dream), the N64 screaming at me on boot-up with Missing No’s voice, and the Mud Lake drumming.
To finish this off:
I am partially dabbling in the paranormal myself, even having ‘GhostTube’ on my phone. A few experiences here and there. I shall be looking into using ‘Spirit Talker‘ once I feel comfortable, and hopefully having a friend accompany me when I do this. Having seen ‘Caspersight’ on Youtube it appears Spirit Talker is far more legit than GhostTube. I may be obtaining corrupted answers on Ghosttube to where I need to use Spirit Talker instead.
I have only used it roughly 5 times to test out my results. I have no solid proof, though may have found my workplace to be ‘haunted’ in a low-key manner. A possible spirit may have wanted me to do something on the cupboard instead of being near a table. I still feel bad about that. I also picked up on this app because I had a dream telling me to. I downloaded the app (in the dream) next to the house, used it, obtained a few hits, and then went onto the next dream segment until I downloaded it in the real world.
For the results I ‘may’ have explanations’, though feel it may be false positives also.
- Rope = May have been for the string I had in my pocket
- Keep recording = I may have thought of ending the test
- Walter = Neighbor?
- Seven = ???
- Watching you = Creepy. That’s what they do though.
- Prison = Stuck?
- Trapped = Stuck?
- Nun = ???
- Battle = They fighting something? Fought somewhere?
- Goodbye = I was cooking, it may have wanted me to focus on it. Or, didn’t want to talk, or someone telling me their final goodbyes?
- What year is it? = As I stand in a park next to my work. “2021, what year is it there?”, I respond after.
- Killed = My condolences. Makes me wonder how, and when they were killed. IF they were. (Still at the park)
- Cupboard = Trying to test during 15 min break, they noted cupboard.
- Yes = My “oh?” gained an immediate “Yes” response.
- Maybe = To my “am I supposed to find something?”
- Watching you = Just sitting there, waiting for a response.
I haven’t used it since because I wanted to do this properly then on. I had it going one more time to never get a hit, probably because it was either a false-positive, or I may have angered it with a comment. Maybe it was gone. I want to try these sessions again later, this time with a friend, IF I’m able to.
If I’m scared, and have noted to be a “chicken shit”, why do I play Phasmophobia? For one, it’s a game. Secondly, the spooks in these games are best done with friends so I only play when friends are able to play. I am genuinely scared, and this game does get scary, just in a very fun manner. It’s all fun and games, unlike real life. Though, Phasmophobia does emulate certain things which do spook me. People have made fun of me for being a “chicken shit”, I have my legit reasons to be a coward to these spooks, as noted above. I even made an assignment for school, something which I should have tone down because I also used my imagination saying everything was haunted when only certain low-key things were. I was afraid, afraid of everything. The basement, my room, living room, anything that spooked me in a dream I was afraid of. Now I’m more ‘normal’ about it, yet still with residual fears carrying on from the past. Like bullying and PTSD, this shit sticks with you for your life. People don’t understand that. They assume you can “just get over it”. You can’t. People are stupid, they always have been, also why I’m an introvert. That introvert part is a venting for another day.
Until then, Happy Halloween for October 2021. I’m sharing this early because I do not want to forget. I simply want to share my experiences.