This blog post covers June 1, 2023, an overly hot day in the nation’s capital of Ottawa, Canada.
Friend met up at the place I’m briefly staying at for a few years until I’m eventually forced to move out of for a bit of hanging out. One of those rare things happening once a full moon. Basically meeting up with the intention of showing off my Japanese stamp book from Kure, Japan, some of my loot from Japan, and even being frustrated enough wanting to go there. A secondary goal of simply going around town to visit various spots, relax, and experience foreign goods. Once done at “my” place, we ventured to his.
(With how difficult it is to venture back to Japan it shall probably be another 20 years negating (voiding) any desires we have left. We desire to leave sooner rather than later.)
The overly amusing thing is, I grew up in this area. Or, at least around it in a specific corner. I grew up next to Merivale Mall (next to that school and gas station), now where that Harvey’s is in that random part of the parking lot. Granted, I was still both accepted and abused at the same time by the locals, I however do have some overly fond memories of this place. It appears as it once had in the past while changing fairly little over the years.
Ottawa dislikes me, yet thankful it hasn’t outright murdered me yet. I’m certain it would have no shame in actually murdering me once the opportunity was presented. I’m still however overly thankful for my friend for having shown me these locations we eventually traveled to. He was overly helpful.
I even told him how scared I was of heights in general, in Vancouver, in Japan. Even taking pictures from this height is enough to trigger my fear. Shame. Everybody always chuckles.
(A NAV Canada Aircraft flew by at the time; NVC102 from Ottawa to Ottawa doing loops.)
If my friend knew, he could have seen me come and go from Vancouver, and even come and go from Japan as well. We both appeared pained at that thought. I hope I’m able to do once again, to visit either Vancouver and/or Japan. Whichever comes first.
Just as much as he showed me around, I showed him around. I suggested he watch ‘Rascal Does not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai’ anime for Kamakura/Fujisawa area. I was completely unaware I had visited this area until after the fact; Until I left the first night to return to my hotel in Osaka. A few days later, basically. I needed to revisit Kamakura area ASAP.
I had my friend rewatch the first episode while comparing my images with what was in the show. I even showed him where it was. He made it a fair distance into the show prior to me visiting. Basically 5 or so episodes in prior to me recommending it.
“Holy crap! Why are we here?! We should be OVER THERE! The people are so much nicer and more human over there instead of the whiny ass Ottawa morons complaining about the stupidest things. Always whining about small pointless things, even things which don’t matter” – My friend mainly, with some of my touch on it.
Japan is so much better, so much healthier, even if it’s being blackmailed into injecting fake political garbage into its land. The fake LGBTQ nonsense the majority of North America is fed up with in being shoved down people’s throats; Blackmailing Japanese politicians forced to be dishonest, voiding their votes in Japan, among other dirty tactics. The people there, for the most part, have treated me as a human being. That goes a long way than how I’m compared to when in Ottawa. I want to go back, and I desire to go back (to Japan).
I’m an introvert, I’m reserved, and I’m a shut in only thanks to Ottawa’s abusive behaviour. Highly reserved, to my (now deceased) parent’s dismay. This city wanted to destroy me, destroy my hobbies. It wanted to destroy every part of me. Venturing to Vancouver has revived my hope a fair amount, yet Vancouver isn’t a paradise. It’s where the Japanese roam, and the only place the majority of Japanese folks I’ve met are aware of, or reside at. They know nothing of our hick & hipster town of Ottawa. Only one person from the Mikasa warship museum, that’s about it. Military related. Japan and Vancouver.
It’s amazing how extroverted I became in VRChat (Thanks to Nagzz & a few friends), in Vancouver (at times), and mostly in Japan. When I’m allowed to be human I can openly be myself, as the main male character in the Anime [Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu] was eventually able to be. We’re relatable, and why romance Anime (even Isekai) are highly preferred. Anime is proper, and VRChat is the best in a Japanese point of view. None of the Trans nonsense plaguing the game causing people to be further anti-social.
A tour, more Anime viewing on Netflix, and other discussions later, we went off on our way.
Various parts of the Ottawa area has various weather boundaries and it’s own climate. The side we are on in the above image could be dry while the other side of that bridge could be wet. It always happens like that. I’ve seen it as a kid, sadly unable to document it. I was with my mother and father in the car viewing this exact scene when we could see wet road on one side, dry on the other.
More recently, my friend’s dad drove me from work to home with workplace being dry, yet the neighborhood the house resides in was wet. Sprinkle rain, not even heavy. Ottawa has regional weather.
As a kid I also had an electronic toy dinosaur (Jurassic Park) which cried like a baby. The waitress at that restaurant (next to this bridge) had assumed it was a baby.
Everything here is what I’ve also told my friend.
T&T Supermarket:
The only place in Ottawa (that I’m aware of) which allows me to be both in Vancouver & Japan at the same time is the T&T Supermarket. It doesn’t have majority Japan’s stock, it however allows me to grab sushi, dumplings, among other neat snacks. A small enjoyable selection in an “good enough” manner. If there are any other more Japanese-oriented places I genuinely would love to visit them. I want to interact with more Japanese folks, retail settings, etc to be close to actual human beings, not for being an ‘Otaku’ or ‘Weeb’. I don’t want to be Japanese, I want to escape. I want to flee to Japan, I however do not have any clear pathways to do so. I’m stuck in Ottawa.
(There is a bakery nearby this location selling Japanese breads and sweets.)
While enroute I’ve noted a few things, one even highly disturbing sight to see.
- An overly proud Italian living in a mansion with overly large Italian flag. It’s nice to see this, even friend was curious.
- An elementary school flying an overly offensive ‘pride’ flag, something I pointed out to my friend being harmful to Ottawa. It’s also why Ottawa is so brainless and abusive, even wanting me dead. People justifying the Pride flag while hearing numerous accounts of sexual assaults’ on minors, even brainwashing. “Do not tell your parents, we want to sexually & morally violate the young kids“. Absolutely disgusting. #LeaveTheKidsAlone.
- A driver stared at me at random in a very tense look making me wonder if he knew me, or something. I noted this to my friend who noted many people know him around town.
(I do not trust Canadian teachers, they’re very scammy and slimy. If they preach fake politics they need their licenses revoked. They sabotaged my mental health and status in school even prior to all this nonsense. Only a few have my respect, such as a few respectable history teachers. English teachers had a nasty ego, same with ‘Social Studies’. Messed up.)
Hog’s Back Falls:
Friend wanted to bring me to Hog’s Back falls making it sound like some mystical waterfall I hadn’t seen before. The way he worded it made it appear almost a third as impressive as the Niagara Falls, Shannon Falls (B.C), or anything other I had seen during my travels.
We desired to eat at this place taking all our snacks with us, even in this sweltering hot weather in the 34 degrees Celsius range. Toasty.
As I’ve said countless times: “The scenery are great, the people are sketchy”
I admire Ottawa’s scenery through-and-through, it’s the people I’m highly wary of. More so after having been abused and tortured by the locals in schools, workplaces, and now with your whole Fake Political nonsense. I’m always on edge, yet Canada’s scenery respects you just as long as you respect it back. It genuinely disappoints me how people betray one another, even having been banned on (r/Ottawa) Reddit for pointing out their grand delusions and grand mental illnesses needing actual professional therapy.
I’m simply highly on guard. Ottawa isn’t even morally honest with themselves wanting to sexually violate their children in school settings, pretend other nations are invading them, and other grand delusions. It’s genuinely no wonder Ottawa is a joke; No wonder Vancouver is favoured by Japanese and other folks, while others simply flee back to their war-torn nations instead of Canada after having seen how broken Canada is as a whole.
The scenery is great, our Dictator Justin Trudeau and his moronic minions are not. I want to flee as well. I’m a prisoner in my own nation, and I’m not saying that loosely. I genuinely feel I do not belong here, and have felt that way for the longest time. I’m however not being given a safe option to do so, nor does Japan make it easy to settle down there, yet allows criminals to sexually violate their own Japanese females. Shame.
While eating we were discussing the scenery, how my workplace wanted to murder me (wish me ill fortune), and even wanted to break me. We talked about all the abuse allowed in that workplace, even how full-timers sexually violated other girls (with their consent) in a workplace setting turning the guys into ‘Man-whores’, and the girls into actual ‘sluts’. People doing stupid things while constantly bullying others, making others feel bad for their inflated egos and moronic attitudes.
I want to befriend intelligent girls, not slutty ones.
I hated my full timers so much, as had others. Mass-quittings at one point (high turn-over rate) over their abuse, and I should have followed the others out to another workplace. I was too depressed at the time to leave (job hunt) needing a source of income, my mother passed away, my father passed away, and other idiocies. Even COVID nonsense, and housing needs. I nearly became homeless, and may end up being homeless in the future. All the trauma and negativities chained me down emotionally, and the cause for my mental break down in 2017 (minus the COVID, yet that’s a 2020-2024 issue). This also caused online hobby folks such as Haku, Naito-nii, and other dishonest folks to take advantage of my low point in life to treat me poorly in life. Making me appear like I’m some terrorist, or some stupid nonsense like that. Those who favoured Dollfie Dream Holo (Spice & Wolf), among other people all throwing me under the bus. It was a brutal pincer attack. A pincer-attack from both reality and the digital world. Disgusting. I genuinely respect those who have stuck with me through-and-through throughout the years instead of jumping onto the bandwagon to destroy me, murder me.
It took VRChat’s 2017-2019 to heal me, and for my trip in Vancouver & Japan to further mend my various wounds. The severe depression, self-decline I spiraled into, and other issues. I’m angrily trying to claw my way back attempting to regain what was sabotaged on me.
With how people give feedback in life (and how Ottawa behaves) everything is always allegedly my fault in life. That’s the type of anger I radiate from my persona, even though I want to be a kinder person in life, as I tried to be in Japan. I’m frustrated and done with stupid people now that I have a spine again. I’m fed up with people. I only respect kind people, and only kind people.
My friend always noting how he always had my back, even telling other egoistical coworkers to shut the hell up, especially when they wished ill intentions upon me. Wishing I would die, wanting me dead, wish I was in a tragedy, and other stuff. Always slandering me, sabotaging me in the background, and just being horrible individuals.
Ottawa is trash (in regards to people, yet lovable in a scenic manner).
It’s this discussion which had me spawn this – [Depression] – page relating to Ottawa constantly knocking me down, even stalling me out in life, even to the point of my parent’s disapproval of me in life. Everything is/was always my fault in life, according to other people. People claim I do not want to listen to people, yet when everything people say comes off as “everything is my fault”, then of course I won’t listen to anything you say. Always negative, rarely positive. People need to be more positive in life, more humble, more human, more traditional.
Give me actual helpful advice, give me positivity, remember random small conversations we had, point me to places, give me a polite nudge, and I’ll take your advice. Basically what the Japanese folks had done so they could guide me to where I had to go to see Kantai Collection landmarks, and other points-of-interests. I genuinely make note of what people say, yet I still judge things to its situation. If I can’t do something then I can’t; If I’m able to then I shall. Girls and woman in Ottawa have failed me as well. Granted, a few girls have helped me, yet they’re taken. Slight morale support, financial support during my father’s passing, yet everything outside of that was socially brutal.
“If you want to visit a place then try to go here at this hour and you’ll see this.“, type of thing needs to be encouraged.
City workers working away watering the plants. During this I also noticed we could have ate in the shade at a nearby picnic table, not at the bench. That’s our miss, yet noted for a potential next time.
I used to be able to swim, if briefly, as a kid. For a year I was able to until I somehow simply stopped being able to swim out of fear, or panic. I was simply not allowed to swim anymore, for some strange reason. When I briefly was able to I even boasted about swimming in the deep end of a pool in the earlier grades of school to the point a teacher had to warn me about staying in the shallow end. I was proud, now not so much. I miss my arrogant years as a kid (when not bullied all the time) able to do whatever I desired. Even then, everything was always my fault back then. I wasn’t allowed to exist, nor was I allowed to be human. I was a thief, a murderer, a black sheep, etc.
I fear being around bodies of water, especially with my camera I could potentially lose in these bodies of water at any time.
[Dream] Suicide Forest – Japan:
We quickly made note of the dream I had relating to how I dreamed about the notorious Suicide Forest in Japan, a random suicide forest scene. I was in a dark patch of woods with a pathway leading three different ways (Left, forward, and right) while behind me may have been a field or more trees. I was staring at a vending machine (and overly old one) able to dispense drinks with the option shown at the top. Nothing in the middle, only the top. The machine was a person height, or 5 foot something. It had ‘Guico’, or ‘Geico’ on it. It even strangely felt something out of a VRChat world.
Maybe I’m grasping at straws, the dream simply being a standard dream. Or based on what I had experienced in Japan in various locations, or may have actually been a shared “memory” from the location. Either way, it stuck with me with how randomly specific and awkward it was. I traveled to various mountains and hills in Japan, nothing with a vending machine in it, nor desiring anything to do with suicide forests. Strange. Dreams like these also makes me wonder if my wireless device in Japan abruptly hiccuped was relating to supernatural occurrences. Not always, a few times.
Cooling Off & Chatting:
My friend, coworker friend, and myself returned back “home” to relax for a bit. Was painfully hot needing to recoup. Water, ice cream, relaxing, talking, and just noting everything about work, life, etc. Even sharing Youtube videos while I spent time building Elizabeth, when I instead desired a Scathach version of this Desktop Army. I cursed just as much as I had in Japan when not having received Scathach. My friend also took images of Elizabeth Bathory from Fate/Grand Order, sending me the images later.
More random gossiping, talking about work, and Anime, among what other Animes to watch. Even going on about physical Switch cards for Zelda on my friend’s side, and other fun stuff. I can happily send my friend numerous Anime titles to watch. My friend and I desire to go to Japan. How? We do not know, we may be intentionally sabotaged from doing so.
I’m certain people shall claim I allegedly ramble and rant, I’m simply making note for blogging purposes. Trying to have fun as much as possible while I can.
Happy upcoming Canada Day!