This blog posting covers the whole day of July 29th, 2022. Camping at Cultus Lake wrapping up, a brief pit-stop at base, and then off to an Anime Convention, something I’m unsure if I should have brought up or not after the fact. Hindsight is a weird thing. I’m genuinely uncertain as to what I should have done, even in hindsight. Either way, “we” all desided to go downtown Vancouver to visit their Anime Revolution to mixed reviews on all our end. We weren’t sure what to make of it, even after the $200 my friend spent on the convention for the three of us. My friend was genuinely pissed off with it not wanting to ever do another Anime related thing, how stupid it is, etc. I feel bad for him with how sour he was, yet managed to make note of various things throughout. I respect the effort of trying to make me feel welcome, it was just “weird”. Everything was weird and “off beat”.
I genuinely want this blog posting to be in a happy tone, I however have mixed feelings, absorbed anger from others, and even suffered a bit from the heat-wave at the time forcing my perspective to be corrupted. I might as well have something over my eyes clouding the whole experience with the whole camping thing being the best thing that ever happened to me. I loved the camping, hearing the CargoJet heading to Hamilton.
Trip Index:
[Prelude/Prologue] – [Day 1] – [Day 2] – [Day 3] – [Day 4] – [Day 5] – [Day 6] – [Day 7] – [Day 8] – [Day 9] – [Day 10] – [Day 11] – [Day 12] – [Day 13] – [Day 14] –
(First and second images are swapped around for ‘header’ purposes. Needs a wider image for first image.)
I swiftly checked flightradar24 at 8:20 to see what plane made that loud constant noise. To no surprise, it was a Cargojet aircraft, co-owned by Amazon for Prime Air heading off to Hamilton, where [HMCS Haida] is. A place I visited.
Woke up, snuck out of the tent to take a leak to get swarmed by insane amounts of mosquitos. Tons of them. I tried going to the nearby stream to take a leak finding my phone pulling up some weird information dialogue, something I promptly exited out of. I was using my phone as a flashlight. I’m still curious as to what that was and why it popped up. Camping itself felt natural, I’m glad I was able to “touch grass”. I love nature, even if I don’t surround myself much with it.
After a long while we cleaned up the campsite, swiftly headed off, and towards Vancouver’s downtown.
I’m curious to wonder if B.C even comprehends the context of “heroes”. It is a fairly “woke” place, a very politically corrupted province. I wonder if they can comprehend the significance of what the military has done for them, and how they’re able to do what they do, even allowing them to be politically vulgar as they are. How oblivious they are to the real world around them.
Either way, Highway of Heroes gets my salute for HMCS Haida, Royal Canadian Navy, and all the military. They’re painfully under-respected, and painfully under resourced. Even the higher ups pretending to do the best while the grunts have to put up with a lot of crappy nonsense, more so in this fake modern political climate. I’ve been told even DND doesn’t want to even do its job constantly “outsourcing” workloads to others while they preach on social media, or take overly expensive trips to places in and outside of Canada. It’s no wonder Canada is screwed when we have people who aren’t dedicated to their jobs, even in the military. But those actually stationed in combat, they get my full respect (past and present).
I know that’s off beat, I had to note that.
It was at this very moment I screwed up. Hey! Let’s Google up the guests at Anime Revolution! Moments later I forgot. That one single moment, and another one while viewing the schedule at Anime Revolution screwed everything up for both myself and my friends. I genuinely feel bad I want to hang myself on a tree. I feel like shit. I wasted the good will of my Friend and made Anime appear like trash to him and I want to hang myself for that………..
But…. Everything else I noted was awesome. I had a decent time noting as much as I could. I have my memorable moments, I just need help making them positive. I need someone to help me make my experience positive.
Arrived at Anime Revolution.
Vancouver knows how to respect Genshin Impact. I mean, in the way that many people chose to cosplay as Genshin Impact characters. Respect. Whatever is popular people do cosplay that. My friend was happy noting I even knew who the characters were, I should have simply been “more proactive”.
Skimmed through numerous booths in the sellers area. Lots of booths, some even not relating to anime, others not having debit or transaction machines. I bought a few Genshin related thing, even one Azur Lane related body pillow of Formidable from here. Could have had Rosalia from Genshin Impact, instead getting a heated conversation about how I needed to bring cash and to see me tomorrow instead. Nah, I’m not here for Saturday. That conversation went from Rosalia to instead purchasing Formidable body pillow from another booth instead. God damn it…… I’m now a proud owner of a Formidable body pillow.
Agitation is real, so are the Genshin Impact rewards. Little trinkets.
This is where I genuinely screwed up. Right here! Right this moment is when I genuinely f***ed up, unable to redeem the Friday causing my friend to hate me, hate every moment, and how everything went from bad to worse…..
When you read “Hololive Panel”, I read it as – “Dudes who pretend to know what they’re talking about” – to which I went focusing on other stuff. Having looked at tweets and news sections during and after the fact I cursed so much that there was just no saving the night. I had to make the most of it by capturing as many images as I awkwardly could, even failing to capture a few ‘Spy x Family’ cosplayers. While Hololive happened “we” went to a “talking head” panel noting what Anime was in what region of Japan, something that actually put me to sleep. Not disrespect, it put me to sleep I was agitated it even had done so (from camping, the heat, and stress). I genuinely wanted to cry, even sent into depression. My regret…….. Insanely high. I missed out on Irys, I missed out on Hololive, on a few others, and not for reasons my friend may assume, for other reasons.
I’m happy, but also depressed. I screwed up 🙁
I should have done my research before hand, and I was going to. While being driven to this location I even had an intuition of “researching” Anime Revolution, something I failed to do. I spaced out, I was out of it….. I wasn’t myself.
*Vent vent – Huffing and puffing*……..
The name reads as a troll…….. – ‘Hope & Time: Irys & Kronii Quizz Talk Show‘ – ………. That made me assume “talking heads” were talking crap, instead it was genuine Hololive talent. I hate myself.
Irys didn’t even acknowledge my Tweet on Twitter which made me even more sad. I mean, Hololive is big to the point they can’t interact with every fan. I made my friend feel like shit so I guess that’s karma all around. I’m genuinely a god damn square (as Irys noted in a tweet)…….. I want to hang myself…….. (this time figuratively hang myself).
If anybody views my Vancouver Anime Revolution as awesome, then awesome. Thank you for your kindness. If you view them as trash then now you know I screwed up. So much regret, for the reasons noted above. I’m an idiot, and people know this. And yes, I’m hard on myself because everything is always my fault (people even note things as my fault), other people were angry, and it just wasn’t a happy atmosphere. So much regret, especially with Hololive & Irys. My friend isn’t at fault, for the record, it’s just how it went. Other factors were in play (Friday, heat wave, stress, tiredness, out of comfort zone, etc)
Trying to take a group picture of the above with one girl going “No” to my simple request of a photo. I was baffled, confused….. It made me feel like trash. Me being sensitive? Maybe. I’m stressed out; High strung. All I wanted to do at the moment was take pictures, that is all. I had a few days of my trip left as well, and a heatwave so I wasn’t myself. I’m however happy I took these cosplay photos :).
I simply wanted to capture every moment I could, sadly missing out on a few, such as Yor from SpyXFamily.
At this point I was walking back and forth, back and forth becoming even more awkward (people noticing me pacing back and forth from one end to the other) as I was looking for things to salvage the day with more cosplay related images. I couldn’t leave, especially with how frustrated my friend was doing this all for me. I however couldn’t recover from the loss of Hololive.
My friends and I visited a panel relating to places and locations in Japan; What Anime is associated with them. Is such panels which made me overlook the Hololive panel, now something I regret highly. I’m kicking myself over it.
Also overheard my friend noting how I look like redder than I should by being among female cosplayers. That caught me off guard, unsure what to make of that. I’m highly self-conscious, as noted numerous times here. The heat destroying me, the struggle to redeem the convention after the Hololive screw-up, and peer-pressure failing to get a selfie with a cosplayer.
!!!!!
What’s this?!
Quick food break.
Oh, and everything is my fault. Everything is my fault…………….. My fault for liking anime, for going to an anime convention, etc, etc……… So many hard feelings to be had.
My coworkers always ate food like this, one even influencing another to which they influenced me even without adding me into their little bubble. We do talk about it though, even joking how one should eat the shrimp version.
Three vocal musical videos containing IRys, something I wish I could have heard on Saturday. It is what it is, and I have what I have.
It just wasn’t meant to be, I guess. I’m however happy I can hear this on Youtube, say I was there, yet be out of the frame of the picture.
I’m sorry I’m venting and whining, I am simply noting how I felt while trying to forget about this after posting this.
Random Note:
I was amused to find someone in Vancouver playing with their Steam Deck out in the wild. I brought mine to Vancouver from Ottawa while someone actually had one IN Vancouver. Steam Deck bros, but not really. I bought, installed, and tried to play a non-compatible game that I had more hopes and hype with.
The redeeming factor? These images I took of cosplayers, and these items I’ve bought in the convention + the Formidable body pillow cover.
I still have yet to frame and display these proudly. Of Ayaka, Kokomi, and Yanfei, a few of my waifus from Genshin Impact. The only vendor who was smart enough to have a form of electronic payment. Granted, I could have gone with cash, but with how COVID forced things in Canada nobody uses cash as readily anymore. That miss is on the booth merchants of this convention.
I’m genuinely thankful to my friends for bringing me Anime Revolution, thankful for the kindness my friend for taking me there. I really am…. It however ended up souring everything in and around Anime relating to how we interact with one another. He now (allegedly) views anime in a lesser light, sees people in a more negative light relating to Anime, and it’s just something I can’t defend. Anime is my thing, everything else is my friend’s thing. I can’t openly show, nor express how I know anime, it falls more under instinct. It’s like pulling out a giant book out of my pocket, one that can’t fit in such a space. Anime Revolution betrayed me on Hololive, for Irys not acknowledging me via Tweets (I’m a square), and everything just soured itself. If anything, it may have been a genuine experience, I however feel the whole experience was tainted, as if I had semi-transparent black cloth covered over my eyes to see the convention in a certain perspective. Hence, the tainted meaning. I’m happy I saw the not-plugged in Gundam statue, for seeing various cosplays, it however could have been so much more. Granted, that “so much more” may have been a weekend exclusive thing only.
This Anime convention brought out tons of negative aura around Anime itself for my friend, if somewhat rewarding in various ways. They’ve done what they could to fit in, and I respect them for that. Major props to them, even putting up with everything. The main meat of the convention was during the weekend, something my friend had plans for going into the mountains for. To Lake Louise and back. This situation soured our mood with one another, something which may have set him off for the weekend causing him to take all his pent up anger up onto me blaming me for everything, how Anime sucks, and how just preventing us from talking for a long while.
“Everything is my fault“……… I felt depressed with how my friend took everything, even having small spikes of moments of wanting to hang myself. Rewarding, yet tainted. I just don’t know how to redeem it, how to eloquently salvage the moment. I’m both happy and sad at the same time. I’m happy I caught the Atago cosplayer, the various Sakura-Keqing-Miku-Misa-etc cosplayers. Sadly, not Yor. Others, yes. I was noted as taking things personally, and that’s because people always negatively note things around me. I pick up on what people say praising and hating myself according to what they say. I’m used to being put down by people so that is what I’m used to, hence the “everything is my fault” type reaction.
As a final gesture of “good will”, for a proper “Vancouver experience” my friend wanted to show me what homelessness looks like in Vancouver, something he couldn’t show with how they weren’t present on the street. Only one homeless person was seen sleeping on the street. Just one! On the news it was noted the city (Vancouver on Global News) was kicking people off the street, even knocking down tents, something I reminded my friend with. He did not register that bit of information. Vancouver was being proper and polite while I was there, and I respect Vancouver for doing that. A few times it went under my skin, though majorly it was fine. I’m alive, I’m safe, and the flaws are instead allegedly with me. Everything is my fault. My friend had to show me what Vancouver was outside of my main two objectives of healing and getting closer to Japanese culture. Vancouver is rougher than I had let on in the blog posting and to my coworkers. I’m well aware of the fact, yet still choose to hype up my Vancouver experiences, if tainted with a few vents and rants.
Camping was cool, the convention was decent, and my friend wants to murder me for this Anime convention. I couldn’t eloquently word my experiences, nor defend Anime in its finer moments. I feel betrayed by Vancouver’s take on Anime. Again, granted everything special was on the weekend, when we had plans to do stuff.
One more IRyS video to balance out any negativity. Hopefully. I’m just a stupid square, as Irys noted in her tweet. I’m a stupid square :(.
After posting this I’m probably going to try to forget about this unless someone tries helping me spin this in a positive note. Find a good moment I can grab onto, expand it, and be proud of my Friday. Yes, I’m hard on myself, also with special thanks from people who also put me down by side-comments (various people). I’m expecting my friend to punch me in the gut after making note of this in a blog the next time I meet. Really making sure I feel it. Tough love, and all that lovely jazz. Friends give out tough advice, as it should be to keep you strong and steady in the breeze. Life is tough.
To those who went to Anime Revolution, I hope you guys had fun. Sorry you had my vent, though hope you see something you enjoy o7